Evening guys! We're all used to this now, each and every year we get one more personal, reflective post here on my blog. Mostly as a type of therapy for me, to read my years previous post, before writing the new post and seeing how things have gone over the past 365 days. It's a refresh of priorities, personal goals, work targets and simply a check in on how life going. If my situation has changed, got better or worse, how my dreams of being an international videographer/all round legend are going. An off load of thoughts, all written down here on my blog and this year, it's no different, so let's cue the ramblings . . .

Where do I start, let's talk about the bank account. I guess, it's the simplest way to know if life has been good to me. I know money isn't the key to happiness but when I say - I have no money whatsoever, I mean it. I'm mean I'm looking right now and oh my, it makes for grim reading over there £4.30 plus Savings £0. I had to call my birthday evening short and put £40 in the car previously to going out to get me back to Glasgow rather than enjoy my evening with my pals. What the fuck am I doing?

Yes, my previous post to this is all about my latest escapades to the South of France & The Pyrenees, so I hear you ask, well it can't be all bad! No it's not but when it comes to working with brands or not having a job in weeks, with months of looking for something everyday - knowing your worth comes into it. Right now, I don't think I do, maybe it's a priority of mine to add straight to the top of my list of next year's lessons. Let's hope by then, I do know the value that I bring and charge for my time, efforts and talent appropriately! 

When I say 'know your worth' the issue is, if I don't get a job in weeks then every time, I think I'm the problem. I then start doubting my work and feel all my films are rubbish. When a job opportunity does come my way, I'm so desperate for it that I sell myself cheap, wayyyy cheap! Just to secure the job as after all the no reply's, seen's and jobs that have simply slipped through my fingers the weeks previous. I then tell myself I NEED this and I'd do anything to get it. Cue me throwing a super low offer a brands way - lower than I need to live, to pay my bills just to secure the job (whatever that job may be to make it happen) selling myself cheap every SINGLE time! I pour money, time, my expertise all into coming up with a final project that I know other people in my field would charge thousands for. However, with me and my low offer, after I have worked tirelessly, I have either just broke even or earned a few hundred pounds.

It's a vicious circle, a nightmare of knowing I can bring a whole campaign to life, deliver a whole social media package, organise everything from a concept, a model (countless models in fact), filming teasers, campaign video's, shorts, ad's for specific items the brands sell. Organising props, drone work, cars, payments, collaborating with people, booking and organising to planning every little detail. Not only filming but visualising and creating the idea - being the director, the all rounder, coming up with the narrative, making all the elements work, all the cogs turning. Not to mentioning editing 12 hour days for weeks after the shoot, all on a laptop that I've had for the past five years, which can't even handle the programs I use anymore. What for?
Well... when I work it out in hours spent, its less than minimum wage!

Some days are harder than others, never having the money to go out and enjoy myself. Never having the money to actually not care, to go out for dinner, order that extra bottle of wine and go wherever the night takes me. Living hand to mouth to make my next rent - is this what I signed up for? I couldn't even afford to put petrol in the car to travel into town to shoot some photographs for this post, that's diabolical. I'm writing this now thinking I should set up a 'gofundme' page, ha!

It's harder when I see other people in my field getting paid a fortune, working with the biggest brands and maybe even owning a house. Having a computer, a desk, a space to work in a warm cosy room. Not that you should compare yourself to others on IG - "Comparison is the thief of joy" after all. Although, you might be the one thinking that I'm doing well based on what a share online... I'm telling you now, it's not all as glamorous as you think but after all this negativity, I still want to make this work! I'm hungry for success but the sacrifices of doing what I'm doing, following my dreams, being free enough to go anywhere I want tomorrow and filming the 'cool' projects I have filmed recently have big downsides - no house, no steady income, constantly chasing the dream and not charging for my worth, just living. Or should I say, just existing until the next pay day.

It's not all bad, today I think like this but normally I wake up and think I'm a fucking legend and any brand or person would be lucky to have me on a shoot. I'm super creative and make anything look fucking legendary! My true thoughts at the minute are - if no one wants me to create for them, I will start a brand and create for myself! Would that work? Who knows but I'd love nothing more to build something I'm proud of and be my own boss.

"You can't fail at something if you keep going, as no one ever knows how close they are to success!"

Cheers for reading,


Evening guys, we're back on an international job. Tonight's post is all about my latest shoot with jewellery brand Clocks & Colours. It's a good one, so strap yourselves in. It all started falling into place two months ago when things job wise weren't looking so good. Far from it if I'm being honest! However, the universe had plans to shake that up good and proper! I was struggling, in a bad place creatively and mentally... when out of nowhere, my main man in France - Mounir, the leather king, dropped me a message. "I need you to film in Paris next week". Was I saved? Yes, but that's another completely different story which I'll be speaking about soon.

The series of events had already began to unfolded as when we wrapped the shoot in Paris, Mounir & I decided to have a blow out with a handful of his friends. I decided to invite Raphaël, who I'd never met before but took this as the perfect excuse as I knew he was in town. We don't do coincidence over here, that night the lads were all in the right place at the right time, that's for sure! As the night faded to day, the connections had been made, legends had aligned and after a night discussing possible collaborations with Raphaël, he assured me that we'd work on something soon. He was in, all I had to do next is to think of a plan and get a brand involved.

Cut to a few weeks later, after I'd finalised Mounir's project. I was hungry to make this next shoot with Raphaël happen! Raphaël had mentioned me that he'd be in the South of France for a few months (after leaving Paris for the summer) so we had a location only a few hours drive from the stunning Pyrenees on the French/Spanish boarder - this was definitely the place we had to create the film. A location with everything from breathtaking coastlines to epic vast deserts, this place couldn't have been any better! Getting back to Raphaël, the man is a self aficionado of all things western, denim & a cool cowboy aesthetic. After researching the location, my mind was racing with ideas, starting to create the plan for the shoot, with only Raphaël's style and the location alone in the forefront of my mind. My initial thoughts were to create a Wild West film on a trail for buried treasure. The only thing we were missing was well, the treasure.

That's where Clocks & Colours come in. We got talking and once I proposed my idea with mood boards and a brief story of what I wanted to create. They were also in and down for supplying the treasure - 'The Quest For Silver' was on! We created the film backwards (getting the first shots you see on the film last, rather than in order) as we hit some bad luck with the weather in South of France. I mean come on, it's the South of France I hear you say? Yeah, all I have to say was it was BIBLICAL! The rain and thunderstorms did change our plans, but looking back on it I personally think it turned out way better than if it had not rained at all!

We crossed the Pyrenees and arrived into Spain to be greeted by bright blue skies and large white, fluffy clouds, slowly rolling over a vast horizon, framed on one side by huge golden cliffs, reminiscent of a Texan landscape. It felt like we were in the U.S. - OH BABY! This was going to be a shoot to remember! I have so many epic stories, maybe a little too many for my blog, that's why I've included them all in my YouTube below, so go check it out at the bottom of this post! I can't wait to share the trilogy of films I've created, I'll have to let Clocks & Colours do the honours first though, so sit tight, you'll see them soon!

I came up with an epic campaign for the guys over at C&C but I couldn't have done it without the team on the day, this includes - Top navigator, map reader and the location scout - Albany, who also took some epic shots on her analogue camera. The main man and star of the show himself - Raphaël, who brought his western cool to the film. Not forgetting - Louisa, who came over for the ride but brought the organisation, planning and more creativity to the shoot as well as being my second pair of hands - what a legend!

Check my YouTube out below -

Peace and love,
Cheers for reading